Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing. Denis Waitley

Failing in it self is not the end of a journey but merely a new start or beginning. You make the choice. If you stopped dead in your tracks after every failure then you would never learn and never progress towards anything.Take the example of a newborn child, it comes into the world not knowing how to talk or walk, but eventually, it learns to talk and eventually after many falls it learns to walk.

Just imagine if you didn’t learn to walk and talk. If you didn’t get up after the first fall you would still be crawling on your hands and knees. If you didn’t learn to talk and communicate you’d still be making gurgling noises!

Sometimes we forget what we’ve achieved as a human race; the progress we have made; the accomplishments; the advances in science, medicine, engineering, socio-economic and political reform. Just think what it was like five years ago, ten years ago and even fifty years ago!

The changes in mobile and computer technology in the last five years for example have been tremendous; lightweight laptops, video messaging and mobile Internet communication. It’s simply quite amazing what has been developed and all these things are still developing.

Progress never stops, have you?

Imagine if Thomas Edison gave up on producing the electric light bulb and Sir Alexander Fleming gave up his pursuit of finding a chemical (i.e. penicillin) to fight bacterial infections. We would still be using candlelight and still be dying from trivial wounds and minor infections.

Of course, all is not well in this world and this is a journey of experience, we need to go through the turmoil to understand the lesson. Leaders need to learn through turmoil, it is sometimes the only way to discover your strengths as well as your weaknesses.

The current perception I get from the evening news is that the world is dominated by human failure, crime, catastrophe, corruption, and tragedy. We are all tuning in to see how the human mind is evolving, but the media keeps hammering home the opposite, that the human mind is mired in darkness and folly. Deepak Chopra

If you reflect on your lives you will find a number of failures as well as successes. Why you failed and what made you succeed are issues that you don’t always consider. You may talk about your successes, but you cower away from telling people about your failures.

Why? Because you feel inadequate, ashamed, afraid of what people will say. As a leader you will need to manage all of those feelings, not to dismiss or ignore them but to understand them. Growing up we’ve all had feelings of inadequacy, whether it was at school, amongst family peers or even in our first job.

You must pass through this phase and grow, using these experiences to help others when they are need of support. You as leader must know how to serve your family your team, your department your organisation. Understanding and being able to deal with the feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment and low self-esteem will make you a better and stronger leader.

Your role is to lift, inspire and develop a highly charged group of souls who are ready and willing to rise to every challenge thrown at them. To do this they need to know that they’ve got you to catch them if they fall. They have the security that you’ll be there to protect them, nurture them and lead them.

On the other hand you must not smother them. It’s important to give them freedom and independence. They must be allowed to grow as individuals as, one day, they will be leaders too. It’s a difficult balance. I can equate it to bringing up a family, nurturing and developing, learning to let go when the time is right, allowing failure to take place without the fear of retribution.

This develops confidence, maturity and the development of the individual to become high performing individuals and future leaders.

Experiencing Failure

Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.
Henry Ford

There is one event in my life, which I remember very clearly It changed the course of my whole life. I had joined a prestigious company and it was the market leader in its field.

I had been with them for nearly five months when their annual conference came round. I had been asked to make a presentation about pricing to at least 100 regional MD’s and senior sales managers.

It was at our head office in Luxembourg. I was really excited at the prospect and my General Manager and I started preparations, as he was presenting with me.In reality I was still getting to grips on how the pricing worked, but of course my GM knew the pricing issues backwards and he put most of our presentation together.

I said to myself ‘I can do this, I’ve always wanted to present at a conference like this and show off my abilities’.

The moment came for the presentation. We were all in this huge oak-coloured auditorium. There were sunken ceiling lights, a huge screen on the stage for the PowerPoint presentations and a person controlling the slideshow sitting just in front of the lectern. There must have been at least 200 people sitting there waiting for our presentation. The atmosphere was stale and warm, there had been a number of very good presentations before us as we were at the end.

I had bought a new tie and shirt for the occasion and I looked ‘the business’, but as time went by and it came closer and closer to our presentation, I became more agitated and sweaty.Then before I knew it, it was coffee break and we were on straight afterwards. During the coffee break people were saying they were expecting a really swish performance from me based on my prior experience with their main competitor whom they respected very highly.

Strangely enough this didn’t make me nervous at all but, instead, boosted my self-confidence, and when we went back in, I was rearing to go. The president of the organisation made a short introduction and we were on.

My GM did the first part of the presentation, which went very well. Then he introduced me and I strutted towards the lectern like a peacock on heat. I stepped on to the stage, put my notes on the lectern, motioned to the PowerPoint controller to start the presentation and I began.

“Good afternoon everyone.”

I started well – but then I began to read my script. This was a mistake, I found I had trouble with my breathing, I was getting sweaty and I didn’t really understand what I was presenting!
I seemed to be getting away with it until there was a ripple of murmurs from the audience. I heard someone say “I can’t see anything, it’s too small”.

I turned my head around and saw the slide show the numbers were just too small, even on a large screen. I was completely thrown off my balance. I remembered this slide; at the time of creating the presentation I also felt this could be just too small, but my GM said it was OK, so I went it.

The reality was quite different. I stood there motionless for a what seemed like ages with my head completely blank. My instinct was to pick up the microphone and get down from the stage and talk the chart through, but I was frozen I couldn’t move and all these faces were staring at me, the new boy, the wiz kid from the competitor they poached. What do they think of me now!

I looked back at my notes and fumbled through towards the end. They politely clapped at the end, but I knew from the looks I got it was a disaster. I thought my career had just ended!
The feeling of embarrassment, inadequacy and failure, were all present at the same time. When I got home I analysed every moment I was on stage and what I should have done. It lived with me for months and I vowed never ever to be in a position like this again.

The lessons I learnt were:

1.Know your stuff,
2.Follow your instinct
3.Practise, practise and practise.

As a result of my personal disaster I hired a voice coach and a business coach and I never looked back. Fortunately my arsenal of talents (other than screwing up on stage) still allowed me to develop my career and I moved on to better things. I did present again and I was applauded genuinely this time for the value I had given.

If you don’t fail, how will you learn? I urge everyone to fail well and then you will learn well! The more experiences of failure you have the more you will learn, so take that step, volunteer for that role you know nothing about; start that project you’ve putting off and stand up and be counted. That’s what leaders do.

What are you going to fail at?

Ravi Arora
MD
Leadiology Worldwide Limited

“The Burnout Specialist”

“Making you feel good on the inside
and great on the outside”

Mob :+ 44 (0) 7723 082 866
Tel :+ 44 (0) 20 7043 7332
Web :www.leadiology.com
email :raviarora@leadiology.com

“Chance favours only the prepared mind”. Louis Pasteur

Are you always making decisions? Are you always confident of making the right decisions? Do you make them in a hurry or are they considered and thoroughly analysed or do you just use your gut.

Whichever way you choose how often are you correct? Are you 50%, 70% or nearly right all the time? Whatever your estimated success rate I am going to show you how to get to your decisions faster using up less energy and with more effectiveness

The one thing you need to make a decision is clarity and energy, a fuzzy head and tired body will lead you more often then not into confusion and possibly move you temporarily into the wrong direction. But why take that chance? Correcting your choice will cost you either time or money or both.

Do you want to take that risk? Do you want to ensure you make the right decision first time round and get to your destination faster?,

So how do keep your head clear and your overall energy up through out the day even when you’re under pressure to make a decision? There are a number of strategies, which look at your state of mind and your overall body both internally and externally. Both your body and mind need to be in a ready state at any point in time to help you make your decisions even ones you have to make a snap decision for.

These strategies for the mind and body can either be done in isolation or you can choose a combination you are comfortable with. The benefit of executing all the strategies is the synergistic impact on your overall well-being and performance. Either way following through these strategies on a regular basis will leave you feeling fresh energetic and focused.

“Energy is the essence of life. Every day you decide how you’re going to use it by knowing what you want and what it takes to reach that goal, and by maintaining focus”. Oprah Winfrey

So lets look at your body first, if your body is tired, feeling lethargic your output will be affected, your stamina decreased and your focus blurred.

The following tips will help rejuvenate your body:

1. Sleep at least 7½ hours a day to ensure your body has had enough chance to repair itself during bedtime.

2. Each morning have a nourishing breakfast, avoid if you can sugary cereals, syrups, jams and sugary carbs and increase your protein content. Use any of the following depending on your preference and cultural background e.g. eggs, Soya, turkey or chicken breast slices and lean bacon or any other protein alternative.

3. Avoid large quantities of simple carbohydrates at lunchtime to avoid increasing your blood sugar spike responsible for the sharp energy high and dip after 3pm.

4. Have lean cut meats or vegetable protein with salad and a small amount of carbohydrates at lunchtime this reduces the amount of sugar entering your blood stream and maintains your energy levels keeping you sharp and alert to handle any stressful situations

5. Walk briskly 30 minutes a day – (do check with your doctor before any physical pursuits)

6. Aerobic exercise helps with the drainage of toxins from your body saunas and massage are also other good ways of doing the same thing but is more relaxing!

7. Reduce your caffeine intake if you drink too much tea/coffee. Some caffeine can be beneficial but too much could disturb the sugar balance, even more so if you are also eating a simple carbohydrate like a cake with your coffee.

Now that you have tips for you body you now need to turn your attention to your mind

“The energy of the mind is the essence of life.” Aristotle

The following tips will help remove clutter from your mind:

1. Avoid alcohol. It will either make you aggressive, passive or sluggish.

2. If you need a quick energy boost before an afternoon meeting, roll your ears towards the side of the head back and forth and at the same time massage them very firmly for 90 seconds. This will give your mind a kick and increase your alertness.

3. Increase the amount of water intake it helps send electrical messages between cells so that your muscles will move, your eyes can see and your brain can think.

4. Breathing deeply through your nose for 3 seconds and exhaling through your mouth for 6, at moments of stress can help calm the body down and aid with mental clarity with practice this will become second nature.

5. Meditation, Yoga and gentle martial arts like Tai chi all help to relax our bodily systems and reduce the impact of stress.

Okay now that your mind and body are prepared the next step is to make those decisions.

The first thing to do when faced with an impending decision:

1. Is to rank its importance 1-10
2. Do you have to make the decision immediately
3. Analyse potential outcomes
4. Do a pro and cons sheet for each
5. Value each pro and cons
6. Total up each pro and con for each outcome
7. Make decision

If the decision is not to your liking you’ve missed something out, your head is still cluttered with emotion so here’s a very powerful tip below

Powerful Mind Strategy

Emotional Stress Relief (ESR) – in times of indecision find a safe place to go and sit or lie down. Place fingertips of both your hands with a very light touch just above your eyebrows on the bumps of the forehead and think/visualise about the issue you have. This light touch has a harmonising effect on the energy of the forebrain and is the place where new solutions without emotion can be found. You end the ESR session once the image of the issue has dissipated.

Now go back to the decision making process, you will find your answer I guarantee it.

So there you are tips and strategies to reach your decision faster with less stress and more energy. By following them on a regular basis not only will your decision-making abilities improve so will other parts of your life in terms of your overall well being productivity and performance.

Who says the best things in life are not free, they are but it depends what you’re looking for!

Here’s to faster decision making

Many personal development gurus have given their own versions on goal setting and all have the same end objective.

To improve your overall current position, whether it is in a spiritual, financial, social, health, family or business sphere.

Only you know what goals you need in those areas but the question really is what are you willing to do to actually achieve them?

But what you must first ask yourself is what overriding goal do you need now to drive all your other goals and how strong is your desire and motivation to achieve them?

You need to consider for a moment what your overall mission is before you set you overall goal and what impact is it going to have on your life. This will then dictate what you have to do in the short term, medium term and long term to achieve it.

One role of being a leader is to set goals, but you cannot set goals in ignorance of yourself and the people you serve. Goal setting requires conditions to be met before during and after they a have been set, or they will merely become a meaningless wish list

To stop it becoming meaningless wish list of no consequence you must first understand who you really are, which is the very premise of setting authentic achievable goals.

Only once you have become your true self and know what you really want to do, with all your heart and feeling, will the goals you write have any deep meaning to you, only then will you have a chance of achieving them.

But then believing in your goals is one thing achieving them is another. Many people go through the process of setting goals in a well-meaning way, following all the steps that one might follow but how many of you have followed all the rules set so called realistic goals and still waiting for things to happen?

The major reason for non-achievement of goals is that your unconscious and conscious mind is not in harmony. Your conscious self wants to do one thing but your unconscious mind wants to do something else. It is a state of personal imbalance; the result is either a confused state or an unexpected result.

Creating goals on personal imbalance produces stress frustration and non-achievement and I know I’ve made that mistake. I thought I could become an accountant based on incomplete information on my personal strengths but basically I was fooling myself. My ego, my position and status were leading me to make decisions that were really not grounded on who I really was. I was miserable being an accountant, not that I’ve got anything against accountants!

So if you’re not achieving your goals then what do you do? Try again, try harder you know the saying winners never quit right? I know what I want right?

Of course you do, the trouble is your not listening very well, you’re ignoring signals your subconscious is telling you. So it’s not a matter of quitting it’s matter of adjusting your seat slightly or even may be changing it all together!

Luckily for me I did see the light and I completely changed to a different career, which proved to be very fruitful and rewarding for a number of years.

But quitting definitely not, your just moving from an A road to the Motorway where you’ll be moving a lot faster and getting there much sooner and you will feel more powerful for doing it.

So when are you changing?

A vital part of setting and achieving your goal is to understand the role of your internal Reticular Activating System (RAS) and stress.

The RAS lies in the brain stem, which controls wakefulness by sending signals to the cerebral cortex, (upper part of the brain) which controls thought processes.

It works by filtering conscious and subconscious thoughts.

For example you have just bought a new car and immediately afterwards you begin to notice all the same make of cars you have just bought.

It’s your RAS, which has heightened your awareness of this car as a result of your unconscious connection with your own car of the same make and model.
It acts as a filter between your conscious and unconscious mind, which can be effected by stress.

That’s why it’s very important when you begin the process of setting goals that you are in a restful state and are reasonably stress free. As stress interferes with the filtering process between the conscious and unconscious mind and creates false expectations, which is often when goals are not achieved.

The RAS automatically brings relevant material to your attention and it is this function, which helps you to achieve your goals as long as you’re relaying all the right messages to your subconscious.

Understanding yourself, listening to your body and sending the right messages to your subconscious are all vital for goal achievement and progress. If your RAS is out of balance your likely hood of achieving your goal becomes doubtful

So not only is it important to set goals which resonate with your body it’s also important to be reasonably stress free. Your body is a complex and marvellous instrument which can allow you to achieve anything you set out to do as long you feed it with the right messages.

For example setting a goal and then thinking of all the excuses why your not going to achieve it will send the wrong messages to your RAS and sure enough you will not achieve it!

As Henry Ford said in so many words :-

If you think you can you can, if you think you cant you cant! And that is true for anything.

So when you start to think about setting goals here’s a few pointers

1. Be in restful state
2. Listen to your body not your ego
3. Know yourself know your strengths
4. Think about your ultimate mission and goal
5. Change to the motorway if you have to
6. Send positive messages to your RAS
7. Don’t quit change course!

Finally I like to finish with a few words from a wise man I know who says:

Can wealth give Happiness? Can Position give Happiness? Can
Relationships give us Happiness? All this in isolation won’t give us
happiness at all. Yes, a sum total of this would give us happiness.
But the human tendency is that we tend to go to extremes.
Sometimes we get so engrossed in relationships, money, that we forget everything else.
We have to keep a balance in our life just like we tell a child to keep a balance between his studies and games.
As it is fondly said, “All work and no play
makes’ Jack a dull boy”

We have to build our faith not through money,
not through fame, not through Position,
not through Knowledge but only through
EXPERIENCE

How many of you always believe there’s never enough time in the day to get everything done? There’s the morning breakfast meeting afternoon board meeting, then there’s the late afternoon city meeting and then there’s the all-important family or friends meeting. But how often have you had to cancel your social life because meetings are running late and you know you’re just going to be too tired or have any energy left to do anything else afterwards.

So why do you feel like that, is it because you have too much on your plate which makes you feel tired or is it the drain of energy which occurs during the day? So by the time you’ve come your last meeting you’re absolutely exhausted and you’ve cancelled your evening out. All you really want to do is go home and fall asleep in front of the TV.

How many of you can identify with that?

Your personal time is flexible but your career or business isn’t, people understand you just can’t cancel or cut short your last business meeting just to have a dinner with your partner or friends, you have to make a living it’s your job’s it’s important. They can’t possibly carry on a meeting without you can they?

Let me tell you a story, which was told to me when I was working in a hi-tech company a few years ago.

I was talking to our product manager who used to work for a company, which made audio speakers. He shared with me this little nougat, which I thought was very apt when considering our own importance to the organisation.

One of their directors had an office with pictures of his family his awards and achievements. One day he died suddenly, within 24 hours his office was cleared, within a week they had a new director, within a month all trace of the last director was gone and business carried on as usual.

Now consider this then when you go on holiday do the meetings stop, if ever you are ill does the business stop. Probably not unless you are the business in which case that’s another problem! Business moves on whether you are present or not. Obviously I’m not suggesting you’re not important to the decision making process but do consider which meetings or activities you really have to take part in and those which wont make any difference to the outcome whether you’re there or not and you know which ones they are!

To help you decide on the latter just in case you’re not sure consider the following. How many do you recognise in your regular business activities?

1. Squirming and shuffling in your seat
2. Discretely looking at your watch wishing lunch would arrive soon?
3. Disguising a yawn and pinching yourself to stay awake
4. Drifting into a personal fantasy
5. Hoping the fire alarm would go off to disrupt the meeting
6. Thinking of all the things you could be doing
7. Thinking about whether you’re going to be able to attend parents evening
8. Thinking about what you should be having for dinner or even cooking for dinner
9. Thinking about your presentation at the next meeting after this
10. Looking out of the window and watching the world go by

At the end of the day it’s your decision but consider this, by stopping certain activities you will have more time and create more energy to do the more important things more effectively, increasing your productivity and improving your result. Now doesn’t that sound like a good reason to stop doing something?

It’s not easy but once you get into the habit of identifying what’s really important you will soon start reaping the benefits and so will everybody else within your circle of influence including your family and friends.

Now you will get days when everything is important so how can you ensure you have enough energy to help you sustain your day and still have energy left over to enjoy a social and personal life. Below are a few energy tips, which can help you through your day if not every day!

Energy Tips

“The higher your energy level, the more efficient your body. The more efficient your body, the better you feel and the more you will use your talent to produce outstanding results”. Anthony Robbins

Eat in a relaxed environment. This helps by encouraging the blood to move more freely towards to the digestive system and make it work effectively in breaking down food. Stress takes blood away from the digestion system.

• Chew your food very thoroughly. This breaks down your food into smaller pieces making it easier for the digestive system to break it down.

• Have lean cut meats or vegetable protein with salad and a small amount of carbohydrates at lunchtime this reduces the amount of sugar entering your blood stream and maintains your energy levels keeping you sharp and alert to handle any stressful situations.

• Avoid alcohol. It will either make you aggressive, passive or sluggish.

• Avoid large quantities of simple carbohydrates at lunchtime to avoid increasing your blood sugar spike responsible for the sharp energy high and dip after 3pm.

• Reduce your caffeine intake if you drink too much tea/coffee. Some caffeine can be beneficial but too much could disturb the sugar balance, even more so if you are also eating a simple carbohydrate like a cake with your coffee.

• Avoid drinking water at meal times and for an hour afterwards as water reduces the action of digestive fluids.

• Avoid fizzy drinks including diet drinks. They’re full of sugar and or sugar substitutes, which are worse than sugar itself. They disrupt fluid balance in the body. You end up feeling thirstier after drinking them.

• Eat little but often. This stabilises your blood sugar balance and reduces those energy dips during the day.

• At teatime, avoid simple carbohydrates such as, sugar, biscuits, pastries, cakes, processed cereals, pizza, sweets, chocolates and soft drinks.

So there you go, you can have more energy and better results if you really want it without having to sacrifice anything it’s matter of getting your head round what is really really really important to you. Once you’ve figured that out the rest is easy!

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